Friday, December 23, 2005

Dream QB Matchup in Tampa!

Ah, yes. The Illusion v. Chrissy Simms. How I've longed for this moment! The Bucs host the Falcons Saturday in what could determine the last NFC wildcard spot, and who better to take center stage than these two.

I suppose anything is better than the jewels the NFL has for us on Christmas Sunday, when the Bears visit Green Bay and the Ravens host Minnesota. There's really nothing better after opening a bunch of thoughtless presents than watching Brett Favre and my old high school team dressed up as Packers take on the uninspiring Kyle Orton / Rex Grossman / Jonathan Quinn / Chris Chandler / Erik Kramer / Jim Harbaugh / Craig Krenzel / Cade McNown / Jim Miller led Bears. The only thing that might spice this one up is George Wendt, Chris Farley (if only) and Mike Myers taking over the broadcast booth.

How can you not like Mike Tice? The Jesse Ventura twin has somehow avoided being fired each of the past three seasons, then discovers why guys like Brad Johnson and not The Illusion can win games in the NFL, then makes a public statement in regards to scalping tickets. He was the guy scalping Super Bowl tickets right? Just checking. How many pencils do you think go behind his ear each season?

Back to the game of the week, however, and the purpose of this board. Chrissy "Sunshine" Simms has actually looked decent at times, even though he still does his typical crumble at the first sign of danger and is lucky to hold on to the ball. The guy who showed up for his first day on the Texas campus in a limosuine has now managed to win four NFL games as a starter...this compared to the zero OU/Texas games he won.

Rumor has it The Illusion spent all week travelling to the Atlanta area malls visiting with as many Santas as he could find. One Santa, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said The Illusion asked for the ability to read defenses. Apparently the Santa replied, "The Wizard of Oz is down by the Macy's."

He should have asked for any type of evidence that could validate his selection to the Pro Bowl, otherwise this blogger is just going to assume that hanging chads and Jeb Bush has something to do with it.

Merry Christmas!


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