Monday, December 12, 2005

The Vick Illusion: Now Gliding on the Information Superhighway!

Some of you may have already have figured this out; but, Michael Vick, he's not so good. For some reason, however, some in the mainstream media, and a vast majority of the viewing public, seem to think he's God's answer to the quarterback position. Sure, the record is nice; but, the last I checked, football was a team game. The solid Atlanta running game and defense probably have more to do with the victories than "The Illusion." Since this is the first post in what is sure to be a storied blog, I will keep this short and simple, the purpose of this blog is:

1. To expose Michael Vick as an illusionist, a master of fooling people into believing he actually has any idea what the hell he is doing out there.

2. To expose those members of the media who buy into the hype because Vick's seven-yard run on third and six was "a thing of beauty," causing them to forget Vick probably threw an interception five plays later.

3. To pay heed to the courageous souls who are the Atlanta Falcons wide receivers. After all, they are the ones who have to put up with "The Illusion's" game day shenanigans. Poor souls run all those routes only to see the ball whizzing 15-feet over their heads at 70-mph. They deserve some sort of hazard pay.

4. To give general thoughts about the sports world. Likely posts will include thoughts on the Kansas City Chiefs, the downfall of Kansas basketball; and, unfortunately, these clowns. I mean, if I focused all of my attention on "The Illusion," I think my head would explode.

Before we let "The Illusion's" play speak for itself tonight when the Falcons take on the hapless New Orleans San Antonio Baton Rouge Saints, a few statistics I feel the need to point out about "The Illusion" in order to set the table before I head further into this venture.

Not only has "The Illusion's" quarterback rating sucked this year; but, as you can see, he sucked
last year as well.

To be fair though, at least "The Illusion" is an improvement over Doug Johnson. Man, that guy really sucked.

Oh, and in case you have not figured out, we will not be referring to this atrocity of a quarterback by name. Until the Falcons decide to move him to his proper position of wide receiver, he shall be forever referred to as "The Illusion." (The quotation mark thing is already starting to annoy me, so let's just go with The Illusion instead). Much better.


Blogger Art Vandalay said...

I agree with Mr. Crumpler that The Illusion is the most over-rated player in the NFL. Take #2 a step further. People praised The Illusion for making that last second diving play in the endzone for the winning touchdown against Carolina to clinch a spot in last year's playoffs, claiming he was the reason for the Falcons' victory. They fail to mention of course that The Illusion threw an interception late in the 3rd which led to a Panther TD, then had a fumble returned 60 yards by Julius Peppers for another TD to tie the game! Finally, before The Illusion made the only play everyone saw on the highlights, he FUMBLED AGAIN with under 2 minutes to go; but luckily it was recovered by a Falcon teammate. This is simply another example of the Falcons winning in spite of The Illusion rather than because of him, but for some reason that story is never told.

3:13 PM  

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